RAVE FabriCARE: Position Papers

Our brief discussion of various issues related to
fine garments, household textiles and accessories

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The ordinary dry cleaner’s mantra: We are not responsible

 

The ordinary dry cleaner’s mantra: We are not responsible

By: Stu Bloom

Welcome to Alibi Fine Drycleaning & Shirt Laundry, Anytown’s finest cleaner, where we are not responsible for anything.

  • We are not responsible for garments with unusual combinations of fabrics
  • We are not responsible for garments with unusual textures
  • We are not responsible for garments with trims and embellishments
  • We are not responsible for buttons that get scratched, chipped, broken or lost
  • We are not responsible for buttons that get loose
  • We are not responsible for buckles and other hardware that get scratched, chipped, broken or lost
  • We are not responsible for zippers that break or don’t slide
  • We are not responsible for elastic that stretches or disintegrates
  • We are not responsible for garments with inaccurate or incomplete care labels
  • We are not responsible for debris or personal effects left in your pockets
  • We are not responsible for gluing bar codes onto all your garments
  • We are not responsible for removing the bar codes that we glue onto all your garments
  • We are not responsible for removing or minimizing the intensity of any spots and stains.
  • We are not responsible for using aggressive, dye-stripping dry cleaning solvents
  • We are not responsible for using cheap dry cleaning detergents or for not using any detergents
  • We are not responsible for misclassifying your garments by color or fragility
  • We are not responsible for cleaning your garments in dirty dry cleaning solvents or fluids.
  • We are not responsible for whites that turn grey, yellow or dingy
  • We are not responsible for colors that fade or dull
  • We are not responsible for dyes that bleed
  • We are not responsible for garments that smell of “dry cleaning solvent”
  • We are not responsible for garments that feel stiff and scratchy
  • We are not responsible for garments that are returned with a fragrance or perfume smell
  • We are not responsible for machine pressing your garments
  • We are not responsible for garments that exhibit shine, flap or button impressions, or wrinkled seams and linings
  • We are not responsible for rippled collars on coats, sport coats and jackets
  • We are not responsible for lapels that are improperly pressed
  • We are not responsible for garments that are returned with creased sleeves
  • We are not responsible for knits that shrink, stretch or otherwise change dimension
  • We are not responsible for laundering your shirts in hot (even boiling) water
  • We are not responsible for using harsh, caustic, industrial grade laundry detergents and bleaches
  • We are not responsible for starching your shirts with cheap synthetic glues
  • We are not responsible for replacing missing or bent collar stays
  • We are not responsible for replacing missing or cracked buttons.
  • We are not responsible for shirt collar stay impressions from our machine pressing
  • We are not responsible for machine folding shirts that require folding
  • We are not responsible for open seams and loose hems
  • We are not responsible for missing or loose snaps, hooks and eyes
  • We are not responsible for wrinkling your garments when cramming multiple garments into a single, narrow poly bag

We could go on and on. But we won’t. You get the drift.

Does this listing resonate with you?

If you’re looking for a responsible cleaner, consult a true quality cleaner.

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Filed Under:

General,Position Paper

Author

Stu Bloom

Stu Bloom is Founder and President of RAVE FabriCARE. RAVE FabriCARE, based in Scottsdale, Arizona, cares for fine garments, household textiles and accessories and serves clients throughout the USA and Canada. Stu is the author of various ebooks on these subjects, all of which are available from www.ravefabricare.com/freestuff. He is an evangelist for true quality cleaning and is a contributor to and editor of True Quality Cleaning, RAVE FabriCARE’s blog. You can find Stu on Twitter, Google+ and LinkedIn.

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